Acknowledgment.

Preface.

1. A Different Kind of “Smart”.

Old Wine in New Bottles?

Going Beyond IQ.

EI, SI, or Both?

From Toxic to Nourishing.

Blind Spots, Lenses, and Filters.

Social Halitosis, Flatulence, and Dandruff.

The “Dilbert” Factor.

Can We Become a Socially Smarter Species?

S.P.A.C.E.:The Skills of Interaction.

2. “S” Stands for Situational Awareness.

Situational Dumbness and Numbness.

Ballistic Podiatry: Making the Worst of a Situation.

Reading the Social Context.

What to Look For.

The Proxemic Context.

The Behavioral Context.

The Semantic Context.

Navigating Cultures and Subcultures.

Codes of Conduct: Violate the Rules at Your Peril.

Building the Skills of Situational Awareness.

3. “P” Stands for Presence.

Being There.

Is Charisma Over-Rated?

Do Looks Matter?

Reading (and Shaping) the “Rules of Engagement”.

The Ugly American Syndrome.

More of You, Less of Me.

A Case of Attitude.

Building the Skills of Presence.

4. “A” Stands for Authenticity.

Take a Tip from Popeye.

It’s a Beautiful Day in the SI Neighborhood.

The Snap-On Smile: Can You Fake Sincerity?

Left-Handed Compliments.

The Puppy Dog Syndrome.

Narcissism: It’s Really All About Me.

Head Games, Power Struggles, and Manipulation.

Building the Skills of Authenticity.

5. “C” Stands for Clarity.

A Way with Words.

Hoof-in-Mouth Disease: Sometimes Silence Works Best.

Role-Speak and Real-Speak.

Helicopter Language and Elevator Speeches.

“Clean” Language and “Dirty” Language.

Verbal Bludgeons.

Taking a Brain for a Walk.

The Power of Metaphor.

E-Prime: the Language of Sanity.

Building the Skills of Clarity.

6. “E” Stands for Empathy.

What Destroys Empathy?

What Builds Empathy?

The Platinum Rule.

The Irony of Empathic Professions.

L.E.A.P.S.: Empathy by Design.

Empathy in Four Minutes.

Building the Skills of Empathy.

7. Assessing and Developing SI.

Assessing Your Interaction Skills.

Self-Awareness: Seeing Yourself as Others See You.

Assessing Your Interaction Style: Drivers, Energizers, Diplomats, and Loners.

The Strength-Weakness Irony.

Priorities for Improvement.

8. SI in the World of Work: Some Reflections.

The Real and Legal Consequences of Social Incompetence.

Cultures of Conflict and Craziness.

Hierarchies, Testosterone, and Gender Politics.

Getting it Right at Work and Wrong at Home.

The Diversity Puzzle.

Ritual, Ceremony, and Celebration.

Positive Politics: Getting Ahead with Your Value System Intact.

9. SI in Charge: Thoughts on Developing Socially Intelligent Leaders.

The S.O.B. Factor.

Executive Hubris: Its Costs and Consequences.

Best Boss, Worst Boss.

P.O.W.E.R.: Where It Comes From, How to Get It.

How the Worst Bastards on the Planet

Get and Keep Power.

The Algebra of Influence.

S.P.I.C.E.: Leading When You’re Not In Charge.

10. SI and Conflict: Thoughts About Getting Along.

The Double Spiral of Conflict.

Why Argue?

Crucial Conversations.

Added Value Negotiating.

Epilogue. SI and the Next Generation: Who’s Teaching Our Kids?

Our Children Are Not Our Children.

The (Only) Ten Basic News Stories.

Anxiety Drives Attention.

Breaking the Addiction to Television.

The Buying of Our Babies.

Video Games:The New Sandlot.

Teachers, Parents, or Neither?

Belonging or Be Longing?

The S.P.A.C.E. Solution for Schools.

A Prescription for SI at Every Age.

Index.

About the Author.